The Hitman’s Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love by Alice Winters
Release Date: July 30, 2019
Page Count: 420 pages
What happens when a snarky hitman and a by-the-book PI cross paths?
Being a hitman has its perks, but I never thought getting an accidental mooning by an attractive PI while he’s caught on a fence would be one of them. While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go.
Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better. Why else would he be teaming up with me to bring down Hardek, one of the city’s most ruthless criminals?
Even though the cops are telling me that the hitman is a notorious contract killer, I can’t help but admit that I’m drawn to him. He’s funny, charismatic, and attractive. There’s no way this ridiculous man can be the person the cops are after.
But when Leland ends up at my doorstep injured, I’m faced with a tough choice. It’s my duty to hand him over to law enforcement, but my heart has other plans. I want to keep him. To protect him. To be with him.
Though one question remains: why in the world does the man have so many d*mn guns?
Contains: shenanigans on a swing that you would NOT find at a playground, a car chase that sadly doesn’t have flips or explosions, a horsey ride sans horse, cuddles, an exuberant mutt, a suspicious chief of police, and lots and lots of laughs.
I loved this book so so much. This is my favourite read of the year yet and I’m absolutely in love with Leland!! I have never laughed this much while reading a book!
I’m in love with his brain. It’s simultaneously a hilarious and scary place. He’s funny and dramatic and half the times I can’t believe the things that come out of his mouth. I want to quote a lot but I can’t print the whole book in the review, so it’ll just have to be few.
“How much did you spend on a robot vacuum, anyway?”
“Bitch wasn’t cheap. I could’ve bought a sex machine for that much. You know what… I bet I could make the robot vacuum a sex machine as well as a vacuum. What do you think of me putting a suction-cup dildo on the top? She could be like a little unicorn with a dick for a horn.”
Jackson stares at me like he’s forgotten how to laugh.
I watch as he walks over to the desk, picks up the tag hanging off the vase of flowers and scowls.
Aw! Jackson loves them! I must buy him more.
And Jackson! He is so whipped!! They are so perfect together. And I was smiling like a loon the entire time I read this book. I loved Cayenne too!
“I would give you the sun if I could reach it.”
Guys, what are you waiting for?? Read it or you’ll regret it!! Highly recommended!!
*ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest and unbiased review